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Apt Adages, Maxims & Sayings Puzzles

By William F. Bultas
A well known saying fits each of the following strange situations. The saying could be an adage, a famous line from a story or play, or something colloquial. The saying often fits the situation only by using homonyms, homophones, synonyms, or by warping the original meaning of the saying. If you give all of the problems a try before looking at the answers, you can rank yourself with the scale below. The answers are linked at the end of the adages. Have fun!

          Number Correct        Adage Aptitude
               0-2                   Low
               3-5                 Average
               6-8              Above Average
               9-11                  High
              12-14                 Superb
              15-17                 Genius
              18-20             Adage Einstein


1. Jack liked to jog along a trail near a nuclear reactor. His wife, boss, doctor, & best friend each warned him that this could be dangerous. He didn't listen, though, & now he has an additional arm growing from each of his sides.

2. Mike cooks a meal that he calls Hope, which consists of bacon, eggs, pancakes, & grits. He greatly enjoyed this meal one morning, but when he fixed it again the next evening, it tasted terrible.

3. Julie's husband ran over their rake with a lawnmower. After bending the rake back into shape, Julie secretly pretended to be married to the rake, which proved to be a superior experience to her real marriage.

4. Alfonzo lived just outside of the town of Soared, until he passed away a couple of years ago.

5. Jake, Mark, Steady, Ron, & Slow ran in a race, & Steady & Slow tied for first place.

6. John & Joan were behind on paying their bills. Strangely enough, a man dressed as the Grim Reaper showed up one Halloween with receipts proving that he had paid all of their bills.

7. Tom Sullivan & his friend Meyer Weiner were at the Academy Awards. When a beautiful actress who Tom was very fond of won an award & went on the stage to receive her statuette, she kissed it. Tom then turned & said something to his friend.

8. The children at Sagacity Elementary School are very good about playing together during recess. However, they never allow one boy, Well Enough, to participate, & they never speak to him or have anything to do with him.

9. Little Sarah had been enjoying a couple of lollipops, but her mother told her to stop, or it would ruin her dinner. Sarah became angry, & pressed the two lollipops together. When they dried, they were connected to one another.

10. Al owed quite a bit of money to the mob. One day three gangsters pulled him into an alley as he was walking by. Of the three mobsters, Stones was a six foot, 250 lb. ruffian, Sticks was a former heavyweight boxer who stayed in shape, & Names was a four foot tall, 98 pound criminal who was opposed to violence.

11. While Eric was baby-sitting his 4 younger brothers & sisters, he put in ear plugs, but was careful to watch them very closely.

12. Sherri Fiddle went to the tennis court to meet her boyfriend, Bo, for a game. Bo didn't show up, so Sherri didn't get to play tennis that day.

13. Lilly was a contestant on the Press Your Luck Game Show. She had to pick between 3 boxes, one of which contained several nice prizes. She would only receive the prizes if she picked the box that contained them, so she picked the smallest box, & won.

14. During a minor earthquake, a crack developed all the way across the middle of Rick's home. The home immediately collapsed.

15. I was telling my dad about Lendon Best the other day, & he interjected that he had met him before.

16. Todd has been losing his hair. He lost exactly one ounce of hair last month, & Josh simultaneously grew an ounce of hair during the same time period.

17. Bob was riding through the woods on his way to town to purchase some supplies, including a nail. During the ride, his shoe fell off. He dismounted to retrieve the shoe, & his horse ran away. He ran after the horse, only to find that he had become lost in the woods.

18. As Bob was trying to find his way out of the woods, he grabbed a twig & bent it out of frustration. Suddenly, a tree next to him grew several inches.

19. Bob was so surprised at the fast growing tree that he began to rub his hand on a large oak tree. The tree suddenly fell over, as did several oak trees near it.

20. Surviving several bizarre occurrences, Bob finally got his bearings, & determined that if he took a nearby trail that was so narrow that it could only be traveled on foot, he would cut a mile off of his walk into town, where he would have to purchase his supplies, a new pair of shoes, & a horse. Before embarking on this trail, a woman rode up, & asked him if he wanted to ride with her into town. "Are you married?" Bob asked. "Why, no," answered the woman, as she blushed with a surprised smile.

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